Unrealistic Expectations.

I am like a personal trainer at the gym who will get you where you want to be in the most effective and efficient manner – what I cannot do, however is give you an apartment that doesn’t exist.

Many people reach out to me with unrealistic expectations and this is usually a problem for someone who is renting for the first time or who hasn’t rented in a long time (for example: you’ve lived in your current apartment for several years).

I recently had a request for a 1,000 square foot apartment in Tribeca with a further request that it be rent stabilized and less than $2,000. Wowza. Truly a unicorn wish. If I could churn these out in the back room I’d be floating in gold laced caviar.

An email was sent to the unicorn apartment dreamer and as a response she upped her game stating she really wanted a 1,500 square foot apartment and to scratch the 1,000 square foot request. It was almost comical if it weren’t a reminder of the reality that renting in New York City means forking over large sums of money for a walk-up that to anyone living elsewhere would cover three mortgages.

In the end I didn’t speak with her because she was stuck on a dream that I didn’t have the heart to explain to her didn’t exist. At least not unless one of us had access to a time machine. Instead she received a second email with a list of rental prices per neighborhood.

However, I am assuming that if you’re reading this you are not like her and you really do want to find an apartment.

A good indication that what you want doesn’t exist is if you have been searching for a while and simply “can’t find the perfect apartment”. This is truly not the market’s fault but in fact should be seen as a reality check. Sometimes people get sidetracked by fake ads or, like the unicorn dreamer, she’d read an article about someone who lived in a rent stabilized apartment and somehow that idea stuck. We can all wish but that doesn’t get you closer to finding and it certainly doesn’t change the market magically.

Meanwhile all the apartments you did see that would have worked out fine were snapped up by smarter applicants who were searching with clearer focus. Having a “clearer focus” means narrowing down your apartment search to two top neighborhood choices and having a good idea of how far your allocated budget will actually get you in both. There truly is a solution for every budget. Even if you discover you cannot afford to rent your own apartment you can always share one and split the rent.

Unicorn apartments exist only for unicorns and not for New Yorkers. However, good apartments do exist. And it’s possible to find one you’ll be happy to call home if you align your expectations with the market.